Striking Ladies

I'm loving Adepero Oduye (on left)

and Paula Patton (at right) in the Hollywood issue of Vanity Fair!

I particularly love Adepero Oduye's vintage-inspired hair and Paula Patton's vintage-inspired dress! Even though there are only two women of color representing, it is still good to see the diversity in skin complexion there. To you it may seem trivial, but that doesn't take away the importance of the matter for others. Especially to certain girls who may have a skin complexion complex. I've certainly witnessed shadeism towards the dark chocolate skin girl who gets teased by the light caramel skin girl or vice versa. Shadeism even includes getting dissed by the guys within your own race. Which in my personal case a long time ago went like, "You're pretty, but I don't date the brown ladies". Ending with me saying something along the lines of, "Your loss jerk-off and thanks for not further wasting my time."

I enjoy seeing our many shades! How we came about to getting our many shades is a completely different subject. WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL. Do you realize how many people want to be us in the world girlies?!??

We have to consciously study how to be tender with each other until it becomes a habit because what was native has been stolen from us, the love of Black women for each other -Audre Lorde

Manly Monday

Vince Herbert and Tamar Braxton

Today I'm posting Vincent Herbert, husband to Tamar Braxton (sister to Toni Braxton), just for having to deal with Tamar's smart-mouth 24/7! Plus, he knows how to dress. Now, I don't know what the full dynamic of their relationship really is when the cameras aren't around, but, she definitely needs a mental makeover. That attitude of hers is over-the-top diva mode on The Braxton Family Values show on WE TV. I'm glad he can be direct with her when he needs to be. He says what is on his mind and then is able to just walk away without blowing up on her. These two could get a spin off show with all of that drama!

1 Timothy 2:11

Bogus Terms

Some very popular products may include label claims using these terms:

• 100 percent natural
• Contains organic ingredients
• Cruelty-Free
• Earth-friendly
• Environmentally safer
• Essentially nontoxic
• Hypoallergenic/Dermatologist Tested/Allergy Tested/Non-Irritating
• Made with nontoxic ingredients
• Made with organic essential oils
• Vegan

Seem legit right? None of these terms are actually regulated. That is why you have to look for the certified seals on products. And even then you have to watch out for the order in which ingredients are listed on the label. The first five ingredients listed are the most prominent in the product. So the "Hypoallergenic/Dermatologist Tested/Allergy Tested/Non-Irritating" is really up to the individuals skin condition and allergy. Most of the products saying, "contains organic ingredients" have only one certified organic ingredient. The "100 percent natural" product can still contain preservatives and parabens. The same goes for products claiming, "cruelty-free". That doesn't mean it doesn't have any harsh chemicals. The "Made with organic essential oils" would be misleading because the USDA only regulates actual food in products, not including plant derived ingredients. And how the heck can you be "Essentially nontoxic"?

 

Now days you have to basically be your own doctor and teacher. I'm all about people making their own decisions, but I rather be an educated consumer at the same time too.

Reflection

photo credit: pinterest

I never intentionally make New Year's resolutions, but it somehow happens anyway. My internal clock naturally wants some sort of change around this time of year. The same way I naturally get the urge to clean out my closet in the spring and rearrange furniture for spring cleaning. I was just further exploring what I'm all about. Just thinking about my last few posts in 2011 and posts so far in 2012. I think this year's theme for myself is literally cleansing my mind body and spirit. From something as simple as hugging more to making peace with someone in my spirit; I know these things can really bring great change. I want to simplify my life. Especially, by ridding my life of negative people. One day at a time.

Cabin Fever?

Feeling more blue, cooped up, and sluggish around this time of year, but feel much better in spring and summer? It could be seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Symptoms include: loss of interest in your usual activities, feeling drowsy all the time, feeling sad, grumpy, moody, and craving carbohydrates. Lack of light upsets the sleep-wake cycle and other circadian rhythms. It may cause problems with a brain chemical called serotonin that affects mood.

Though this is coming from a self-diagnosed hypochondriac, I think this is what happens to me every winter!Throughout this whole week in St. Louis it's been warmer than usual. I'm talking like almost sixty degrees and sunny! It was really reminiscent of spring just going out walking, wearing a jacket instead of a coat. Of course with any issue experts say regular exercise can help you feel better. It immediately boosted my mood just being outside. Unfortunately, other treatment options involve sitting in front of a light for hours every day until the season changes called light therapy or taking antidepressants, which always has the risk factor of making symptoms worse.

Whelp, so far some simple mood boosters are:

• Walking outdoors.
• Keeping up with my tot.
• Reading my bible and praying at quiet "me-times" when I can best reflect on things.
• Vitamins, preferably vitamin D and fish oil for Omega 3.
• Hugging more, because happiness is contagious.
• Spending time with positive spirited people, like at church.
• Staying hydrated.
• Opening the window curtains during the day.
• Not WebMD-ing yourself when you're a hypochondriac!

From A to Z Equals Me

A-Age: 24

B-Bed size I want: California king size, but it would take up almost half of my bedroom!

C-Chore that I hate: it's a tie between cleaning the bathroom and folding clothes. Both of which must be done. By the way, it is very tedious trying to fold baby clothes! 

D-Dogs: Australian Shepherd with Chow mixed breed, no longer with us in this world. Still haven't had some closure from it.

E-Essential start to your day: Trying to stay in bed for as long as possible.

F-Favorite Color: The rainbow! Equal opportunity for every color.

G-Garden gnome or garden flamingo: Garden Flamingo.

H-Height: 5'2" petite size

I-Instruments I play: My voice in the shower.

I especially sing those hard to get out of your brain tunes!

J-Jam or Jelly: Jelly, but I guess I should get into the preserves and fruit spreads.
If you want to know the difference between jelly, jam, marmalade, preserves, and fruit-spread CLICK HERE!

K-Kids: I never thought I'd want kids in my life before I had my daughter.

L-Life view: Optimist. The glass is half full.

M-Movie I still can't get enough of: Julie & Julia

N-Nicknames: Skeeta by my Grandmother.

O-Overnight hospital stays: One for three days.

P-Pet peeves: People chewing loudly and with their mouth open.

Q-Quote: The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. - Lucille Ball

R-Right or left handed: Left handed

S-Sibling(s): One. We're seven years apart and I'm the oldest.

T-Time I go to sleep: I try to go to sleep around 10pm.

U-Underwear: Not required.

V-Vegetables I like: broccoli and celery

W-What makes me run late: Looking for stuff I need at the last minute because my kiddoe goes through my purses and tote bags.

X-X-rays I’ve had: None, unless ultrasounds count and I've lost track of how many I had when I was pregnant.

Y-Yummy food I make: This is a tough one. Desserts!

Z-Zoo animal: the baby goats in the children's petting zoo at Grant's Farm. Even though their eyes are scary to me, you get to brush them and bottle feed them.

Thanks to Rag Bag Artistry, who got it from Retro Chick, for the inspiration!

Oh Yeah!

On Saturday, I finally got a chance to get some relaxation in my long awaited candle-lit hot bubble bath sans crying kid with severe separation anxiety! I also enjoyed one of the many variations of Christmas cocktails. I especially enjoyed using my new 100% handmade bath set that I bought from the Soulard Farmers Market. The shop is named Sea Street Soap Works, LLC. They have been selling great products since 1994, but started at Soulard Market in 2003. I have the 2 ounces Really Thick & Good Hand & Foot Cream, in the Meet Me in the Shower scent (around $2.50), the Love Spell Type scent of the 2 ounces shower gel ($2), and the 16 ounces of pure Coconut Oil (unscented $5). The hand & foot cream is exactly what it says it is and has a fresh baby powder scent. The Love Spell rivals Victoria's Secret. I use the unscented coconut oil on my daughter because she has severe eczema and it helps. When I rub it on her my hands get moisturized too, so this is a kill two birds with one stone deal! It was actually really hard to pick out these items since there were so many scents to choose from. There must have been 16 other scents! Sea Street Soap Works, LLC does not just have shower gels, and hand & foot creams up their sleeves, but also incense, bar soaps, massage oils, foaming bath salts, body milk treatments, and those oil diffusers! If you've never heard of oil diffusers, it uses sticks in a jar of oil which deodorizes a room. In other words it is a very chic room freshener. Any way, I'm a very satisfied customer.

BGTY: Relaxation

As part of BGTY (Be Good To Yourself) I will hopefully be able to relax and soak in the tub for a long amount of time tonight. Lord willing, because I have a two year old daughter who is my shadow. Gotta love those terrible-twos. Anyone that is a mom knows all too well about not being able to just go to the restroom by yourself or get yourself fully ready before you head out the door. Yes, even this small task somehow turns into a crying meltdown!

I haven't been able to read a book and actually finish it. In fact, the last book I've read and actually finished is The Help. This book is surprisingly realistic and evoked emotions and thoughts. I couldn't get that story out of my head afterwards! That's what a good read is supposed to do! I still haven't seen the movie (one of the many perks of having a little one). Thank goodness it's available on DVD now. In which, I'll have to watch with subtitles. I won't get to hear a word of what's going on because my daughter talks over everything I'm really trying to hear, including when I'm on the phone.

I've really been dealing with feeling exactly like Charlotte in Sex In The City 2. Overwhelmed when the baby is screaming the whole time she's on the phone and the older child (Lily) ruins her perfect vintage cream Valentino skirt. Then she has a meltdown. Fast forward to later on in the movie. Miranda and Charlotte have drinks at the bar in their hotel. They're talking about how hard it is to be a mom. Charlotte always wanted to have a family but her daughters are driving her crazy. She wonders, "And I have full time help! How do the women without help do it?!" Miranda answers with, "I don't effing know. Here's to them." They drink. That's what I need a drink, a long bath, a good read or movie and a young mothers support group! I can empathize with Charlotte except for the fact that she is well-to-do, has support, and a nanny. All of my friends don't have any children. If you have a nanny don't even talk to me.

Too many times women put everyone else first, neglecting to take care of ourselves. It's totally the burned toast syndrome. This is when we get done fixing everyone else's toast and there's the one piece of burned toast left. We take the burned piece of toast so that everyone else gets to have a perfect breakfast. We get  obsessed with pleasing others and being the perfect supermom. You know it's completely illogical to be perfect. It still doesn't stop you from feeling like maybe what you think is your all, isn't your best.

God forbid we actually put our foot down for fear of turning our kids into psychopaths later in life. We ask ourselves such questions like, "Will this make (insert your child's name here) hate me or resent me for the rest of their little life?" Even when we're at the point of being really ticked off we still want to protect their little heart. I have to constantly repeat myself. Am I a human tape recorder? I don't even want to get started on the topic of sleep. I haven't had a full night of sleep not by choice, since two years and six months ago. By the end of the day you're left thinking to yourself WTEff? You've been drained and turned half crazy. And that's a normal week. Yet, my relationship with my child is still the most fulfilling in my life. Perplexing.

10 Things That Make Me Happy

1.  My daughter.
2. My blog and blogger friends.
3. Listening to music.
4. Helping others when I can.
5. Being creative and decorating: sewing, putting together homemade gift sets, making collages with beautiful pics, painting the house, arranging flowers, etsy treasury lists.
6. Being in control of the camera but not necessarily being the one in the picture. Hey, what can I say? I know what I want the picture to look like.
7. Non-curmudgeon, creative, unique and quirky-cute (not scary strange-derange) people.
8. Having a good hair day.
9. Hilarious comedians. Who doesn't need a great laugh???
10. Being left-handed (just one more thing to set me apart).

Bad-Mood Intervention

Sometimes we all need to perform a bad-mood intervention for ourselves. Some bad experiences can have lingering effects, but it doesn't have to stay that way. This is for myself. I have noticed others are going through an mixed bag of inner-struggle too. So, this could also be for you at this particular time.

1. Don't believe in all of the negative things you tell yourself. You are your own worse critic. So tell the inner heckler to SHUT-UP!
2. Walk with my head held high and own it, what ever it is.
3. Smile even when I don't feel like it. It makes me even more so approachable. Every time I leave the house, even just for a walk, a different guy approaches me (great ego boost). Funny that's when I feel like I'm so sweaty and icky I just wanna get back home to the shower.
4. Change up your scenery. Rearrange furniture, add real flowers, paint a wall etc.
5. Always have something to look forward to like going out to dinner, hosting a party, or buy tickets early for a show.
6. BGTY (be good to yourself). You can't let your happiness depend on anybody else.

Needing A Hit Of Happiness?

Here's some clues:

1. Kissy-feely PDA couples make you sick!
2. The only time you're in tune with nature is when you go to your car, or see a nature TV show!
3. When someone asks, "Is somebody having a bad day?", you actually growl!
4. If for this Christmas your boyfriend gives you a new sweat suit!
5. If at number 4 you were wondering, "What boyfriend?"
6. If you don't even feel like going through the "getting to know someone new phase" all over again.
7. You blow off your girl friends because you're too busy... doing a whole bunch of nothing.
8. You have a seriously lulled libido.

What would you add to the list???